That Face In The Crowd

Chatters, giggles, laughter.

All around you. You turn to your right, your sight is greeted by smiles. You turn to your left, your sight is greeted by even wider smiles. Having fun, being happy. Having so many people around you, who are nice people. They are nice people, they will help you should you require some assistance, and they want you to join in the fun that they are having.

And you did.

You had fun, you were happy.

But amidst that happiness, you still feel empty.

It's not because you are not grateful. But it takes time to find that warmth. That warmth that enables you to trust without fear of betrayal, that warmth that enables you to smile without having shed a tear later, that warmth, that promises security. 

You would often see me in a crowd. You may catch a glimpse of me, and I might be smiling, laughing and having fun. Or you may catch a glimpse of me, with the upside down smiley amidst all the smileys around me. 

You can't help how you feel.

So don't fake it. It's not illegal to be a little sad when the whole world seems to be happy. 

Im against faking happiness. Because it hurts you so much more than the original pain does. I understand how you feel. You dont want to be a party pooper. You want to blend in. But sacrificing your real feelings, it's just wrong. It's wrong against yourself. You're hurting, don't hurt yourself even more. 

It takes time.It does, it will and it is.

So let it take some time. 

Take some time to heal, to learn, to gain.